Reflections of a Pastor's Wife
“And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6.
This month’s blog is written by one of our GCA pastor’s wife, Elaine McCann. She and her husband have been at Journey Christian Fellowship in San Luis Obispo, California for over 20 years. Elaine grew up in Asia and came to the States as a youth. She has two children, Noel and AJ, and loves serving in praise, welcome, college, and adult ministries, and the Great Commission Association's Executive Board. She cannot pass up a good cup of chai tea and thrift store bargains! Whether you are a ministry wife or not, as you read her story, I hope you are encouraged, strengthened, and reminded that you are not alone.
Reflections of a Pastor’s Wife - To my 20-year-old self, the idea of being a pastor’s wife sounded fun, exciting, and somewhat glamourous because all the pastor’s wives I knew were popular and well-liked. I experienced the excitement and beauty of seeing lives transformed and the love shown to me by God’s people. Little did I know, over the next few decades, I would learn much about rejection, loneliness, depression, judgment, betrayal, abandonment, and even ultimatums.
As a rookie pastor’s wife, I wanted to do it all and please everyone. Being the first to arrive and last to leave was a norm. I remembered being told multiple times what my role should look like, what my responsibilities were, and how I should help my husband and our church. Facing their disappointments cut me to the core. As time passed, thoughts like “God, are we really making a difference here?” or “Are we the bottleneck in keeping this church from growing?” flooded my mind. Perhaps I heard wrong all along. Yet each step of the way, God provided a lesson for each season. God’s mercy kept giving me enough to keep moving forward, stretching my faith in Him each time while redeeming all to bring glory unto Him. As I reflect back on the past few decades, I’ve learned to treasure the lessons the Lord gifted me, especially for the most difficult ones because they stick out the most.
To my 20 years old self, I would say: You don’t have to be perfect in everything. In fact, it is in your imperfection that Christ’s power can shine even greater. Celebrate and thank God for your giftings, but also accept and be ok with your weaknesses, For His “grace is sufficient for you, for His power is made perfect in weakness’ (2 Corinthians 12:9). But, in your youth- work hard, build those spiritual muscles, train in disciplines, persevere, and don’t give up too quickly.
To my 30 years old self, I would say: The further you walk in the will of God, the more you’ll realize- “It is not about you.” “Actually, it is never about you.” “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 4:6. As you give God your utmost, He alone can make things happen. Only He can transform lives, cause people to love deeper, and sacrifice more. Be faithful, obey what He has asked you to do, then seek and watch His Spirit move.
To my 40 years old self, I would say: It takes spiritual discernment to see beyond human activities and adversaries for you to see the activities of God. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 16:9, “For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.” Open doors of service may also let in adversaries. Paul had plenty of both. Focus on the activities of God and where He has led you thus far. Don’t be surprised when adversaries come. Sometimes, they may come from the ones closest to you. Remain in Him and wait on God and let Him affirm those open doors.
To my future self, I would say: whatever lessons you’ve learned, leave them behind. Pass them on. Leave a legacy so faith will be multiplied and extended. Because the next generation needs to be “surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, encouraging them to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And cheer them to run with perseverance the race marked out for us” Hebrew 12:1.
My dear sisters, fellow pastors’ wives, some of you are serving right alongside the frontline with your husband, and some of you are supporting him while being faithful to what God has determined for you. I praise God for being the Creator of that diversity in calling as well as seasons of life. But I too want to thank you for the many sacrifices, burdens you bear to love your husband and the church. We see you, your husband sees you, and most importantly, God sees you. Thank you for not giving up and keep fighting for your marriages. Thank you for being the emotional refuge and anchor. Thank you for being the mother, sister, daughter in strengthening many to follow Jesus.
Dear sisters, may these words Elaine has shared, encourage your heart and lift your head. Keep the Faith, dear ones, He is worth it.
Cathie Smith is the Ministry Wives Coordinator for GCA. She is a ministry wife, mother of three, and enjoys Earl Grey tea, yellow daisies, all things chocolate, and talking with friends. One of her greatest passions is helping women to grow in Christ and become life-long disciple-makers.